General Failure
by Mei.EndofStory
Summary: Yuudai, Yoko doesn't like Hollows, she doesn't like the old pervert Urahara who saved her life, she HATES being wrong and absolutely does not, in any way, enjoy surprise's. Well isn't she just lucky. IchigoxOC / IchigoOC
1. How Uncool

"Itaaa! That really hurt Urahara!"

"Yare yare, Yoko-chan!" The blonde man grinned, fanning himself.

"You know," I started, rubbing my forehead, "If I didn't know you better, I would think you _liked_ making my life a living hell."

The man just giggled, "Good thing you know me better!"

I rolled my eyes and lifted myself into a seated position, hand still rubbing my_ abused _forehead. This man really was something else, randomly showing up with his little pose, fighting off _"Hollows"_ as he liked to call them. I preferred Beasts, Demons and sometimes Debbie Downers; they could really dampen anyone's mood. After a few more minutes of allowing myself to wallow in self pity for ever meeting Urahara I pushed myself up and brushed the dirt off my skirt.

"Aa! Need help my little Yoko-chan!" Urahara asked slyly, aiming his flat palm at my backside.

"I'm fine." I said, easily side-stepping his blatant attack.

Urahara's face seemed to fall for a minute but it didn't take him long to be all smiles again. I wondered off-handedly if he was ADHD, it surely would explain a lot more.

"Anyway, I'm off. I'm late as it is, Ochi-sensei is going to be mad." I muttered.

"Well have fun my little Yoko-chan!" Urahara waved.

I snorted but waved back anyway, "Thanks Ururu-chan, Jinta-kun, Tessai-san!"

I could hear Urahara's shouts of "What about me!" but ignored him. Served him right for jabbing me in the forehead with his fan. I would have moved eventually, there really was no need to be so harsh. Damn that man, it was (without a doubt in my mind) going to bruise. I kept up my brisk walk to Karakura High but my mind was distracted back to when I had first met my self proclaimed "saviors".

* * *

><p><em>"Really Tatsuki, I'll be fine. It's not that late anyway and you've been training me for the last few weeks. I can handle myself against some scumbag." I said.<em>

_She snorted, "I'm not worried about just "some scumbag" Yoko." _

_I crossed my arms over my chest and we kept leveled stares. I was going to win this time! No backing down! Even if Tatsuki's stares were rather intimidating..._

_"Fine." Huh? Had I won that easily?_

_"Really, I just won?" I asked, a grin splitting itself across my face._

_"Yeah, sure, you win Yoko. But if something happens, call me?" She mumbled, looking away._

_"Okay!" I said, pulling the other girl into a hug and swung the door of the dojo open._

_"I'll see you tomorrow at school!" I said, turning and jogging away._

_"Be careful Yoko!" Tatsuki hollered behind me._

_I waved, slowing my jog to a causal walk. The night air was lovely and cool, I could even see the stars shining brightly. It was so nice, so calming, so relaxing. I shifted my book-bag on my back better and listened to the quiet sound of my sneakers hitting the pavement. _

_"This is the life." I said to no one in particular, it just seemed like the right thing to say._

_"Who are you talking to girl?" A deep voice rasped. _

_I froze in my steps, hand inching towards the phone in my pocket before I realized how foolish that was. This man wouldn't harm me. I couldn't see the him but clearly he was curious. I suppose I couldn't blame him, I would be too if someone randomly spoke to themselves. I turned around, feeling a bit more positive and mentally chuckled at my own stupidity. _

_"I was-" But my words stuck in my throat. _

_I hated being wrong, I just hated it. Like that time I was wrong about Orihime being a wonderful cook and had to suffer through countless dinners for it. Or that time that I thought the milk hadn't expired and it dripped in gross clumps on my cereal. Or that other time where I thought kissing a frog would make him a Prince. Yeah that one had been pretty bad. But I was starting to think that this had to be the worst._

_"I said 'Who are you talking to girl?'." The monster wheezed._

_I almost wanted to point at myself and ask, "Who me?" but didn't think this thing would share in my humor. This 'thing', whatever it was, clearly wasn't a curious and harmless man. It stood a good few feet taller than myself and had long, lanky looking arms. Its body was a deep red color, which I supposed was a nice color until I thought of blood, and a white mask type thing over its face. Its eyes were glowing red specks in a sea of empty black and the mask pulled up in a wicked grin, teeth fully on display. I wondered briefly who his dentist was._

_"Ahhh, I was, um, talking to myself." I answered. _

_"So you can see me." Clearly he was happy about that._

_"Well that's a stupid thing to say." I mumbled under my breath, I mean clearly I could if I had stopped to answer his question._

_"Mmm, you smell sooo good!" The beast rumbled and I fought the urge to puke._

_"Are you some kind of pervy demon!" I yelled, scowling. _

_"You dare to insult me? Human girl." The thing drawled. _

_I guess it had a point, that was pretty stupid. I wasn't going to be much help to myself if I didn't keep it together. Really, what was I thinking?_

_"Prepare to die, Human girl!" It shrieked and I did just that. But please, not without some sort of effort into saving my life._

_I turned on my heel and ran and ran and when I really just couldn't think of anything else, I ran some more. A stitch in my side began to form and I winced, clearly Tatsuki had been right when she said I needed to keep up with the running. I figured a 10 minute jog around my block was doing the trick, obviously not. I stored that bit of information away, just incase I escaped from this raving looney and lived. What else had Tatsuki told me?_

"You really shouldn't encourage Orihime's cooking Yoko, you're going to make yourself sick."

_Well that was useful. I was about to die, could hear the heavy feet pounding the ground behind me and all I could think about was Orihime's cooking and Tatsuki's hatred for it. Poor Orihime. If I died she was going to be stuck with no one to eat her food ever again. Maybe everyone would think it was her cooking that finally had gotten to me?_

"Remember, sometimes, if running isn't working, stand up to the attacker. Freaks them out a bit."

_Maybe that could work. I dug my heels in the ground and twirled around just in time for the beast to fly straight over me and into a building. I blinked a few times and watched as it picked itself up from the rubble. My eyes glanced around the streets but I didn't see anything. I knew it was late by now but seriously? No one heard that?_

_"You die." The beast mumbled and I raised my hand out in a stop like motion went it came closer._

_"Uh-uh! You stay back now! I know kung-fu!" Alright, that was lame, I admit it but it was the only thing that came to mind._

_The thing didn't stop though, it probably thought that was a lame threat too, and continued its path of destruction with myself being the destination. In most dire situations I had imagined myself in I figured I would be able to handle it or at the very least Tatsuki or the Police but this was one I had never really planned for. How does one fight against the Devil? I almost chuckled, I had always imagined him as a tall, manly, red thing with horns and a tail. This was pretty disappointing, though I had nailed down the red bit. _

_As the beast crouched and made to spring a glimmer of something small and shiny came into the picture. It struck the beast over the head and the thing just disappeared in a puff of smoke. Okay, not really, but that would have been kind of cool. Instead it screamed in pain and blood began pouring from its cracked mask. It turned to its attacker and albeit, the person who just saved my ass and growled._

_"Shinigami!" It howled and now I was really confused. _

_Shinigami? A death god? Wasn't that thing a death god? It looked closer to the death gods in Death Note than the man figure standing to the side of it. But hey, beggars can't be choosers right? I'd say this 'Shinigami' was on my side for the moment. Unless it wasn't. That would royally suck. Escape one demon to face the next. _

_"You Hollow's are really becoming a problem around here." No cool line? I could have done better than that... _

"Uh-uh! You stay back now! I know kung-fu!"

_Or not..._

_"Shinigami! You die!" And before I could see anything happen that shiny thing was back (which turned out to be a sword by the way) and the beast did die in a puff of smoke. It wasn't nearly as cool as I thought it was going to be. _

_"Are you alright?" _

_I screamed. _

_What? I couldn't help it, the deep voice came from right behind me. I spun around and came face to face with a Giant with glasses. Next to him stood his munchkin minions. I took a step back and hit a wall. A warm, rumpled wall. That happened to be breathing. _

_"Are you okay...?"_

_"Yoko. Yuudai, Yoko..." I was a genius when it came to self preservation as anyone can see._

_I was just attacked by a 'Hollow' and now I was introducing myself to the Death God and his friends. A _Death God_, just incase that little fact had escaped someones mind. _

_"Are you alright, Yuudai-san?" The Giant asked again._

_I stayed quiet._

_"Are you retarded?" I glared down at the red haired munchkin, he was going to die._

_"Why you little!" But a hand rested on my should and kept me back, the hand of the Shinigami, I gulped. _

_"It looks like my little Yoko-chan is just fine!" His voice was too cheery, how was he a Shinigami? Shouldn't they be emo or something?_

_And then it happened, a firm grab and a firmer squeeze. My face turned as red as the little munchkins hair and I let out a shriek that could wake the dead. (Not that I wanted too, I hoped that Hallows stayed dead)._

_"Did you just grab my ass?"_

* * *

><p>"Yuudai-san... Yuudai-san... Yuudai-san!" I glanced upwards and realized I was face to face with Ochi-sensei.<p>

"Ayaa!" The woman looked down at me hotly. (Not that kind of hotly, the kind where she looked ready to kill.)

"Yuudai-san! If you would please refrain from daydreaming in class. You were already late today." Ochi-sensei said.

"Sorry." When had I even gotten to class? Maybe I had ADHD and Urahara didn't? Nah, he totally did.

The lunch bell chimed and I could safely say I was "Saved by the Bell". Orihime's boobs were the first thing that came into my line of vision, followed by her happy face. Tatsuki was third.

"Come on Yoko-chan! It's lunch time! I brought enough for you!" She beamed.

I stretched and got up from my seat, smiling widely.

"Aw, you shouldn't have Ori-chan!" I felt bad for actually meaning it then remembered yesterdays lunch was Soba with some kind of questionable bean sauce and boiled eggplant.

Orihime had a very creative cooking style.

"But I had to, Yoko-chan! You always seem willing to eat my food and I enjoy making it!" She grinned as we made our way to the roof to eat.

"I suppose so, but I actually cooked dinner last night. I brought the leftovers, tomorrow perhaps?" I asked making it sound like if she didn't I would be hurt.

They should give me an oscar.

"Okay!" Yeah, a big one. Bigger than the others.

Eventually we sat in our usual circle, with the usual chatter. Chizuru kept making passes at Orihime, who stayed oblivious as normal and Tatsuki yelled at her to shut up. Michiru sat shyly, listening to the whole ruckus as she always did and Ryo continued to tune everyone out. I just watched, it was what I liked to do. Just watch.

"Ne, ne. What about _you_ Yoko-chan?" Chizuru asked, inching herself closer.

"Mm, What about _me_?" The girl didn't seem to deflate one bit, maybe her and Urahara were related?

"Would you like to come to mine this weekend? My parents are out and we could have the whole place all to ourselves..." She trailed off and waggled her eyebrows.

Before I could respond my, faithful as ever, Tatsuki came to the rescue and punched Chizuru across the back of her head. The girl winced and glared at Tatsuki.

"Stop hitting on my friends!"

* * *

><p>"Hey! Yoko! Would you like to walk home with Orihime and I?" Tatsuki shouted.<p>

"I'm not heading home just yet, but thank you! Get home safe!" I shouted back, sending a wave.

Orihime waved, jumping in place and I could imagine if Chizuru had been here, she would have died happily. Tatsuki just threw her hand up, in a casual "I'm-too-cool-for-waving" style and they headed off. I smiled at my friends and continued on my way. The grocery store that I frequented was on the other side of town from the direction of my apartment but it couldn't be helped. They were the only ones supplying fresh strawberry pastries on a daily basis. The things a girl did for food.

I left the store just as quickly as I had entered it, munching happily on my treat. My mind drifted off and I casually thought of Ichigo. That boy had been missing a lot of school these recent days and so had that Rukia girl. Which again had the gears in my head turning. Maybe there were planning to run away together and elope? I blinked. Had I really just said the word 'elope'? How uncool was that.

"Ahhh! Yoko-chaaaaan! So nice of you to stop by!" Stupid Urahara.

"I'm not stopping by! It just so happens my apartment building is across your shop! You know that!" Stupid, stupid Urahara.

"So it seems." He said, trying to sound mysterious.

His fan fluttered in front of his face. Did he realize that made him seem girly? Probably.

"It's good to see you made it home without incident." Was that a low jab at what happened this morning? It wasn't my fault I froze up, it was hard getting used to seeing Hollows and dead people frequently. I wasn't Haley Joel Osment, this shit was freaky.

"It's not my fault, Urahara. Leave me be."

"My, my! Touchy! I'm just happy my little Yoko-chan is safe!" Stupid, stupid, stupid Urahara.

"I'm not being touchy!" I shouted, stomping away, "And I'm not yours!"

Okay, so maybe I was being a little touchy.

* * *

><p>"Ahh, this nice hot bath is just what I needed." I sighed, sinking deeper into the warm water.<p>

My muscles relaxed and my mind did too. It was officially no thinking time. I was in this bath to enjoy it! No Urahara! No Hollows! No Souls! No nothing! Just a girl relaxing in her bathtub, sipping on apple juice... What? I'm not old enough to drink, apple juice is just as good! I sighed again.

"When I die, I'm going to find the man who invented the bathtub and marry him. Unless it's a girl. Probably. Girls are smart like that."

"Talking to yourself is the first signs of insanity."

I screamed. Really, when were people going to learn not to sneak up on me? Especially when I'm in a bathtub, speaking of which...

"GET OUT YOU OLD PERVERTED BASTARD!"

"Yare, yare Yoko-chan, It's not like I have never seen a naked woman before." Urahara giggled.

"That's not the point! Get out!" Why hadn't I made this a bubble bath?

"Okay, calm down, I'll be in your living room." I hated that he could seem so calm sometimes.

When he finally left and I was 100% certain that the door was closed fully I hopped out of the tub, draining the water as I went (such a waste) and pulled on my pajamas. I towel dried my hair for a few seconds before realizing there wasn't much a point with it only being Urahara and all and marched out of the bathroom ready to give him a piece of my mind and froze.

Was that like my thing? To freeze when I was surprised? I sure was going to get into a lot more trouble with my self proclaimed "power".

"You'll catch flies like that, Yoko-chan." Urahara chastised.

My bottom jaw met my top in an audible clink. It hurt, so I rubbed it awkwardly.

"Yoko? You can see me?"

Well this was certainly news. Since when had this happened? I guess it explained why he was always missing school. And her too, she now had an excuse. Apparently my "eloped" idea was really off. That's good. At least I wouldn't have to say the word aloud now and sound uncool. Can't ruin my reputation for nothing. They were all staring at me. Man, maybe I should pack up and move already? It looked like a win-win to me. Saved reputation, no souls, no Urahara, no Hollows, no Shinigami, no surprises. Most importantly no surprises.

"Yeah, I can see you Ichigo. So your a Shinigami, huh?" Looking back on it, I should have thought up a cooler line.


	2. Just Like Batman

"So how long have you know Hat-and-Clogs?" Ichigo asked, it was like playing 20 questions, with 1 million.

"A while I suppose." I mumbled, shooting the man a dirty glare. What was he playing at?

"I saved her life!" Said man quipped up, Ichigo's brows shot straight to his hairline.

"What do you mean you saved her life?"

"Yeah, what do you mean? If I recall clearly, I was doing perfectly fine on my own until you showed up, Urahara." Okay, that was a lie.

The bastard ignored me and answered Ichigo instead, bastard.

"My poor little Yoko-chan was about to be eaten up by a Hollow! So I stepped in and saved her!" Ichigo looked to me for conformation.

"I was fine," I insisted quietly, "My kung-fu would have totally worked."

"Kung...fu...?" Really this boy was slow.

"Yeah, ya know, kind of like what Tatsuki does? I practice with her every now and again..." Clearly Ichigo was having a hard time believing I would have been okay.

"I don't think "kung-fu" would have saved you, Yoko-san." When he frowned his eyebrows almost touched, maybe he shaved a uni-brow.

"You weren't there, it was totally under my control." I insisted again, leaving no room for discussion.

Ichigo huffed and turned his head towards Urahara, scowling. The side view was increasingly better, I didn't have to imagine the uni-brow now. I squirmed a bit in my seat and turned to look at Rukia who seemed pretty quiet. It was a little unnerving, from what I had remembered about the girl, she was loud and happy. Now she was stotic and silent. She didn't seem to be a happy camper.

"You're getting more people involved and in trouble, Urahara-dono." Rukia spoke suddenly.

To say I wasn't a little surprised would have been a lie. What was Urahara playing at? I didn't want to be part of anything dangerous. Stupid Urahara. Okay, maybe I'll take that back, Rukia hadn't said "dangerous" just "in trouble" but really, weren't those two words married? Especially if Shinigami were involved? Urahara obviously had less respect for my will to live than I had previously thought.

"Oh? Rukia? Care to explain?" If looks could kill I'm sure Urahara would have died, Rukia had one mean glare.

"Why are we involving Yoko-san? What has she got to do with any of this? Are you trying to get her killed?" I decided I should speak up.

"Um, if you both wouldn't mind explaining this all to me? I sitting here in the dark about my own life. Not that I can't take care of myself and all, but it's still nice to know..." Why did everyone look like that.

I could totally take care of myself! I might not have a cool sword like Ichigo! Or this "kido" magic Tessai-san had! But I had me, myself and kung-fu! I would totally be fine. They would see... Someday.

"Yeah, I would kind of like to know as well." Ichigo spoke up.

Count on Urahara to listen to him.

"Don't you _feel_ it?" He asked, staring at Rukia.

The girl frowned for a minute, then just like Ichigo before her, her eyebrows shot up. She looked at me, I looked at her, she continued to look at me and it made me feel nervous. Didn't they have the "Don't stare" rule in her world? I felt self conscious when Ichigo joined in, though he clearly had absolutely no clue what was going on. I decided I would ask Ichigo if he wanted to join the "they-tell-me-nothing" club... Later.

"Is there something on my face?" I asked finally, I was trying to break the creepy mood.

"Ne, my little Yoko-chan! There is nothing on your face! You're perfect as always!" I decided ignoring him would be my best choice of action.

"Her reiatsu is incredible."

Okay, my _what_? Was that some kind of fancy term for soul? I mean, I knew I was awesome and pretty cool too but "incredible"? I think Rukia was giving me a little too much credit. I was almost tempted to raise my hand to ask my question, since Urahara kept ignoring me (for the important stuff anyway) then figured he'd probably ignore that too.

"What do you mean? I don't feel anything." Thanks Ichigo, I feel like a ray of sun shine right now.

"Um, what's reiatatsu?" I think I pronounced that wrong because Urahara chuckled, Phantom Fan fluttering before his face.

"It's rei-a-tsu, Yoko-chan. It's the spiritual energy one posses." Okay, that seemed simple enough.

I had power, lots of it from what Rukia said, but I had known that. Ya know, with my kung-fu skills? I really needed to stop kidding myself. Stupid surprises. This is why I didn't like them. They made me feel all awkward and it was weird, having other people know something about you that you never did. Down right creepy. I felt like Urahara was my stalker and I was gaining a new one.

"That's cool..." I muttered finally.

I really should work on new lines. Maybe I could higher a writer? Someone creative and witty, and they had too look cool too. And I would have them follow me around. When ever I was in need of a good line I'd look over at them and telepathically they would give me one and it'd be good. So good that I would probably loose the job of telling my own life story and this would end up as a biography. Alright, so no fancy authors.

One problem out of the way, now to face the next. What did all of this mean? Not what was anything but how was it going to affect me? Did I have a say in my life anymore? From the way the two were looking at me I didn't really think so. What little scheme was Urahara cooking up under that Green Eggs and Ham hat of his?

"I understand, I guess, a bit of what you're saying but how does this really apply to me? I'm no Shinigami, just a kung-fu artist." Alright, so I wasn't but they had to give me something right?

"So what if she has a powerful reiatsu!" And here I thought I was turning out to be pretty cool (well cooler), "She's right! She's not a Shinigami, what can she even do?"

I think Ichigo lacked belief in all of my abilities. I'd have to fix that some how. Not tonight, but in the near future.

"She could be like Orihime or Sado, if given the chance."

Woah, woah, woah. Hold the boat. Orihime had some kind of special power? I mean Chad? Sure! He was a massive guy. I always figured he was special in some kind of freaky way but Orihime? My friend, Orihime? The ditzy girl? I loved her to death but this sure was the biggest surprise of tonight for me. It was like saying she could cook delicious food. It just wasn't plausible.

"Am I on 'Punk'd'?" That would be pretty cool, but I was highly doubting it.

"No one is trying to fool you, Yoko-chan." I'm sure I could see a little bit of Ashton Kutcher in Urahara.

* * *

><p>"Well it was good seeing you all! Really! But I'm beat!" I yawned for effect (that Oscar I'm telling you) and shoved the three out my door.<p>

My shoulders slumped forward and I allowed my back to hit the door. This sure was a night I wasn't going to forget anytime soon. It almost felt like a dream, a long, drawn out, over the top, extended for ever, dream. But a dream none the less. I pinched myself and it hurt. Okay so it wasn't a dream. I really had a lot to think about. This could change my entire life, this one single night.

I made my way to bed but it just didn't seem very comfortable. I submitted myself to my thoughts on what everyone had to say (or didn't say in Ichigo's case, his lack of words seemed pretty powerful). Urahara had told me he wanted to train me (which in all ways possible to look at seemed less perverted than I had imagined that saying would) to use the reiatsu I had. He had rambled on for a bit and I didn't pay attention much but the gist of it was I would become a Super Hero. Like Batman. Who didn't want to be like Batman? Except for maybe the Joker... And lots of other Super Hero's and Villians... This wasn't the point.

I would get some kick ass kung-fu skills (which excited me to no end) and become part of the Fantastic Four which would be changed to Yuudai, Yoko and the Fantastic Four after they saw how good I was. I would also be able to defend myself against Hollows and that idea thrilled me even more. I would see less of Urahara on a weekly basis (after, of course, the training) and be content to live out my life, waiting for the Bat-Signal to shine in the night sky.

Rukia's words were a little less bright though. She agreed with her "Urahara-dono's" idea that training me to defend myself would be a good idea, but that my days as Batman should never be realized. Instead she wanted me to become a recluse and live in a dirty, old house with millions of cats to keep me company. It was an endearing thought that she wanted me safe but I was in no way, shape, or form going to become like Mary Jane. That just would not do in my books. Not when Batman was so close to reach.

Batman and I had a lot in common too. We had both lost our parents at a young age, both were geniuses, both had a British Butler (I didn't really but if I could have one I would) and both had secret identities (at least I would if I agreed). Very similar indeed...

Continuing on, Ichigo seemed the least supportive of the two. His narrow-minded self just didn't want me taking all of the glory. I knew that, he knew that, everyone knew that. He was being selfish. Didn't anyone teach him to share when he was little? I knew how to share. Just like I had shared that Hollow with Urahara the first time... And every other time that followed... I wasn't one for stealing others lime light.

I sighed and rolled over, tucking one pillow into the crook of my arm and another under my head. I figured I might as well try and get a little bit of sleep. Had to keep up my appearances as a Super Hero.


	3. Howl's of a Hollow

When someone is rudely woken up in the middle of the afternoon it's hard not to hold a grudge. Normally I was cool, calm and collected but after Urahara had invaded my personal space the night before I had really thought he would be kind enough to wait at the very least 24 hours. A grace period from the man and his crazy but alas I wasn't very lucky. I think God had it out for me or the Shinigami's did, in particular the man in question.

"Hurry up my little Yoko-chaaaan!" I wondered if a Shinigami could die again.

Where would they go? I think Urahara would be sent to Hell. I'm sure all of the women there were naked, 24/7 what with it being on fire and everything. Maybe Hell would be too kind to him... I hope he got sent to Heaven, stuck with all the chaste, prude nuns of the world. Funny how Heaven could seem like such a drag all of a sudden.

"Yokoooo-chaaaan! Are you coming!" I was going to ask Tessai-san if they had a kido power to make people shut up or at the very least if I could borrow some Duck Tape.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Keep your hat on old man!" I yelled back.

When I finally managed to slip on my sneakers (quiet slowly I might add) I opened the front door of my apartment and glared. It seemed like a good glare but again Urahara just smiled and giggled. How could a man that acted so gay be such a skirt chaser? I was going to have to ask Tessai-san if he actually ever brought women home, it was beyond me.

"What is it Urahara? I figured you'd leave me alone after last night?"

"Ne? My little Yoko-chan! Are you not happy to see me?" I pulled a face.

"Not particularly."

"Well then! I guess it's good I'm not here for a social visit! I just came to tell you that Rukia-chan was kidnapped last night!"

Why did he sound so happy? That just wasn't right. Evil bastard.

"What do you mean "kidnapped"?"

"She was taken! Our poor Rukia-chan! They have taken her back to the Soul Society to be executed!"

My eyes bugged out a little and I probably looked a bit like a Gold Fish, not very pretty.

"And how is this my problem?" I felt like that was a low blow to Rukia, I silently said sorry in my head.

"Neeee, Yoko-chaaan! I'm hear to ask if you would like to join Ichigo and the others on an adventure to save her! I, myself, cannot go but I willingly send you to her rescue!" It would be like Urahara to send out a bunch of teenagers to do his dirty work.

And the time had come. This was it. No looking back. Was I going to be the fearless, brave and all powerful Batman? Or the doey eyed Mary Jane who couldn't open a jar of pickles without Spider Man coming to her rescue. I weighed both options carefully. Adventure or safety? Selflessness or selfishness? Power or pickles? Fight or flight? The combination of words were endless though one thing was for sure. Being rescued by Spider Man was significantly less cool than saving people as Batman.

"Alright, I'm in."

* * *

><p>"I don't think this is a good idea." No one asked you Ichigo Kurosaki.<p>

"I think it's a brilliant idea Yoko-chan!"

"Thank's Ori-chan, I can always count on you!" I knew who were my true friends now.

I stuck my tongue out and pulled the lower lid of my eye until it showed red. Ichigo just huffed and turned his body away from me. And here I thought that the Strawberry head would enjoy my company, obviously not. Stupid boy thinking he could take on the world no problem, I mean for Christ's sake! He thought Orihime would be a better asset to the team than me! Not that I had really proved myself... Again not the point. I would totally show him up.

"Alright everyone!" The cheery bastard chirped, "We have 10 days to train you all! 7 days to open the Senkaimon and then 13 days to find my dear Rukiaa-chaaan!"

I stuck a finger in my abused ear and grimaced, "Quiet down Urahara."

"Hmm! What was that my little Yoko-chan!" Damn him.

Before our little spat could continue though Tessai-san spoke up, reminding us all that we had to get to work. Urahara waved him off happily as Orihime and Chad said their goodbyes. Apparently they weren't going to train with Ichigo and I. Leaving me to the wolves! I see how it is.

* * *

><p>"Just go Yoko-chan! It's nothing!"<p>

"Nothing!" I shrieked, staring down the evil pit of Hell.

What was I supposed to think! Urahara had magically produced a swirling hole of death and destruction in his Candy Shop! Alright, so it wasn't magic, he had only pushed aside a few box's and WA-LA! I turned to look at him accusingly to only be met with cheerful happiness. Urahara was not right in the head if he thought I was willingly going to Hell. Before I had to make myself clear, a loud wailing was heard. I smirked as I watched Ichigo's form tumbling through the blackness.

Nothing happened for a moment and I worried that maybe Ichigo had died. I chanced that he wasn't, calling down to him.

"Oi! Ichiiigoooo! You still alive!"

Nothing. Meh, maybe he was dead.

* * *

><p>"Woah! Who knew this was under here!" Urahara said excitedly.<p>

Baka.

"Just shut up. You don't have to shout for me," Ichigo muttered, "I'm surprised enough as it is."

"You've been wanting to do that forever, huh?" I mused, taking in my surroundings.

Urahara only chuckled and I took it as a yes. Even though the man's attitude didn't amuse me nearly as much as he had hoped I was still impressed. How had the foundations of the buildings above stay strong with this here? Architectural advances I decided I wouldn't understand anytime soon. As I stayed lost in my own little world I faintly heard Urahara explain our first lesson. I was then violently jabbed in the back of the head.

I coughed a few times, rubbing the sore spot and turned to see Urahara grinning like mad.

"Pay attention, Yoko-chan."

Why didn't my glares work? He should have dropped dead. I huffed and struggled back to my feet, ignoring everyone around me.

"You're such a Bastard, Urahara." I muttered.

"SUCH LANGUAGE MY LITTLE YOKO-CHAN!"

* * *

><p>"COME ON ICHIGO! YOU CAN DO IT!"<p>

Had I really been reduced to this? A cheerleader? Or worse a Mary Jane? May the Lord have pity on my soul.

It had been a while now, that Ichigo had been thrown down the evil pit of doom (or Shattered Shaft if one so wished to call it) and I faintly wondered just how much time had passed. The boy only had 72 hours, so Urahara had said, to get to the top or be killed by Tessai-san. I'll admit, Ichigo had surprised me when he fought Ururu and hadn't died. I had seen her take on Hollows before and was sure I never wanted to be on the receiving end of one of her blows, Batman powers or not. But after his little victory Urahara had deemed it time for him to quickly move on to the next lesson.

Which included me sitting on the edge of the evil pit of doom, feet dangling over the side in boredom. Hint the reason why I occupied myself with cheering Ichigo on. What else was I supposed to do?

"Yo, Urahara, how much longer?" I asked finally.

"It shouldn't be too much longer, Yoko-chan." His voice seemed deeper and dare I say it, cool?

I glanced down again, watching Ichigo struggle to make it up the side of the wall but he didn't make it very far before rocketing to the bottom. Maybe Ichigo needed another pep-talk?

"COME ON ICHIGO!" I yelled, cupping my hands around my mouth, " DON'T LET JINTA GET YOU DOWN! HE'S JUST A MEANIE HEAD! YOU CAN DO IT!"

The only response I got was silence. Well what a Bastard.

"You're stupid!" Jinta shouted, large plate of fruit in his hands.

I ignored his statement, really it was second grade-ish at best and eyed the food hungrily. I made to snatch a piece but Jinta dodged my oncoming attack and tsked.

"It's for Ichigo." He said before jumping down.

Why was everything about Ichigo? Always Ichigo! I was human too! And I was hungry! If I had realized I would be starving under Urahara's Candy Shop in a secret lair I would have brought food but I didn't get the memo. Stupid Jinta. Stupid Ichigo. I hoped he turned into a Hollow. Served him right for being such a selfish Bastard. If he lived, I was going to teach them both the importance of sharing. A small hand tapped my shoulder and I turned to see Ururu nervously holding an apple.

"Fo-for you, Yoko-san." I gave her my best grin and 100 brownie points.

"Thanks Ururu-chan!" Scratch that, 1 Billion, this was the best apple ever.

As I began to take another bite a piercing scream shook through my body and I dropped the apple in the dust. My eyes widened and I stared down the Shattered Shaft at Ichigo. Or what I assumed was Ichigo. A white cloud began swirling around said boys face, pouring from every orifice.

"Shit! He really is going to become a Hollow, huh?" Jinta asked, climbing out from the Shaft.

My eyes swung towards Urahara but his face betrayed nothing.

"Starting rescue measures!" Ururu said, fist striking the air.

"Hold it." Urahara started, but I blocked out what he was saying.

All I could hear were Ichigo's agonizing screams, his helpless drowning and it shook me to the bones. Ichigo wasn't allowed to die! Wasn't he the Hero of all of this? Wasn't he supposed to save Rukia? Wasn't he supposed to be stronger than all of this? I stood quickly and peered over the edge. Tessai-san had began chanting some form of kido and white cloth enveloped his shrieking form.

"Hey Tessai! If you hit him with that, he'll die!" Jinta yelled.

I couldn't hear the response over the howl's of pain. I instantly felt guilt rising in my chest for saying I hoped Ichigo became a Hollow.

"I take it back!" I shouted at him.

I think my half-apology fell on deaf ears.


	4. Or Maybe Flash

"You're doing it wrong."

I didn't like to think of myself as a violent person. I thought I was actually pretty calm when it boiled down to it. For example, I was calm when I waited for the bus to take me Down Town last year for some late time Christmas shopping, even though it was an hour late. I was calm when Ochi-sensei announced we were going to have a pop quiz on the previous nights homework that I hadn't done. I was calm when I found out Batman's true identity was the playboy Bruce Wayne all along. But at this very moment all of my calm, cool, collected attitude was running dangerously close to none.

"What do you meaaaan, Jinta-kun?" I all but hissed.

"Your stance is pretty weak, someone will knock you down in two seconds flat." Snarky little Bastard.

I shifted my feet apart a little more and squared my shoulders, arms up in what I hoped was a pretty cool kung-fu stance and sighed. I was getting abso-fucking-lutely no where. The demon known as Jinta had been assigned to help me with my hand to hand combat. Ururu had been too but so far she just stood there, quietly ringing her hands in her skirt. I honestly wished Urahara would, dare I think it, come to my rescue and teach me. He was doing well with Ichigo so why didn't I deserve his attention?

Speaking of Ichigooo...

After my little apology, that I realized had no effect since he didn't know what I had wished for in the first place, had been said I was quickly swept up by Urahara. Only to be thrown under his body with Jinta and Ururu to be protected from the powerful blast of reiatsu that left the Shattered Shaft. Ichigo had emerged from the dust and dirt, Hollow mask intact, only to remove it and exclaim he was going to "Kill Urahara dead!". And I had laughed. What? That had to have been the worst line in the history of lines and it made me happy to know it hadn't come from my own mouth.

After my little laugh attack had stopped Urahara decided it was best for me to start my training while he continued on with Ichigo. And that's how I wound up here. With bastardly Jinta and shy as ever Ururu. Making no progress. What. So. Ever. So I did what any normal girl would do if she was left to her own devices. I plopped down on my ass and crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to do anything until I got what I want. Childish? Yes. Necessary? Very much so.

"Gah! Get up you retard! You have training to do!" Jinta yelled, stomping his foot for emphasis.

"I would rather Urahara trained me." I said truthfully.

"Really! My little YOKO-CHAAAAN! OF COURSE I WILL!" Since when had he been behind me?

"Really Urahara, it's not a compliment, I just can't learn from him." I pointed to Jinta accusingly.

"There's nothing wrong with me! It's your fault!" The boy exclaimed.

"No need for lies, munchkin."

"GAYYAHH!"

I stuck my finger in my ear, "See what I mean?"

* * *

><p>"You should focus your reiatsu, here," He pointed to my hands, "And here," and too my feet.<p>

I stood there for a minute, concentrating all of my will power on pushing this invisible "reiatsu" to the designated areas before I felt light headed and took a deep breath.

"This isn't working, Urahara."

"Mmm."

"You don't know what your doing do you?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean, you don't know how to train me, do you? I'm not like Ichigo. I'm no Shinigami you can play life or death with."

"I suppose that's true."

"Then I probably shouldn't waste your time, I'll only burden them all."

There! I had said it! I said what he had been thinking! What Ichigo had been thinking! And even what Rukia had been thinking! I might have this so called power but nothing was going to be realized from it! I wasn't going to get any cool powers like Ichigo and that was that. I should probably settle for gadgets like Batman. Maybe he wasn't so cool after all. I was starting to feel more like Robin compared to Ichigo's Superman.

Urahara stared at me and I stared back. There was no backing down now. I knew I was right. So I continued on.

"I mean seriously, look at me!" I yelled, startling the man, "I'm nothing special Urahara! Nothing! I'm no Ichigo Kurosaki! I'm no Chad! I'm not even an Orihime! I don't have any special powers! So what if I have "incredible" reiatsu! All this is, is a burden! I see ghosts! Woop-dee-doo! The only thing that's come good out of any of this is that I now have the ability to see what I'm running from!-"

"Yoko-chan..."

"-I mean really! I thought this was going to be pretty cool and all! And believe me, I want to help Rukia too! But I'm not good for anything! I would probably get her killed! Or I'm going to get _myself _killed and to be honest I'm not ready for that! This really is all too much drama!-"

"Yoko-chaaaan!"

"-And another thing! I really just- Opfh!"

In hindsight I should have been expecting that from Urahara, I knew the man didn't like to be ignored but really I was on a self-pitying roll. Those things are hard to stop. Why did he always have to get so violent with me?

"Yoko-chan, look at your hands." Huh? Why?

I looked down to see a rather nice red glow around them, which ran its path all the way up my arms. Remember my real power? The one from before? My power to freeze? Yeah it was back. I gaped down, finally experimenting with curling my fingers and flexing my wrists. The red "flames" trickled around them, licking close to my skin.

"ITAAAAA!" I whooped, throwing a punch in the air.

Urahara dodged quickly but the mountainous face behind him couldn't. A rather could 'crack' rung through the secret lair and dust flew up in a billowing cloud. I clamped my fists over my mouth to try and keep myself from cheering again. I heard Urahara chuckle next to me as he gave me a firm pat on the head, as if I was a child who had done good. I would take it.

I beamed up at him then shifted my blinding smile towards the others. Jinta and Ururu gave me a silent cheer and Tessai-san smiled endearingly. My eyes finally rested on Ichigo and I couldn't resist my happiness this time.

"TAKE THAT STRAWBERRY HEAD! I'M SO GOING TO SHOW YOU UP!"

Urahara just chuckled again.

* * *

><p>The next few days went by in a blur of reiatsu and sweat. I was amazed at how quickly I became used to the power rushing through me and put all of my time into training. Might as well give Rukia my all. I still had no clue on how to use kido properly or a sword but I was fast. Super fast. Like the Flash. Maybe that was the Super Hero I was destined to be like the whole time? Apparently my speed had a name, "Shunpo" (something Ichigo hadn't conquered yet, to me delight) and Urahara praised me for it.<p>

Not only had I gotten this "Shunpo" business down but the training I had previously had with Tatsuki was paying off. I had sparred with Ururu and lived to tell the tale! If that was any indication to my progress.

* * *

><p>"Ichigoooo!" I sang, practically prancing around him as we walked.<p>

"Yeah?" He was such a spoil sport I swear.

"Ne, Ichigooo, aren't you super excited about this? We're going to save Rukia! It's going to be awesome! We're gunna-"

"Shut up." Excuuuuuse me?

"Huh?"

"I said shut up." Ichigo growled.

The night breeze I had been relishing in only a few seconds ago turned clammy and my brows knit together in confusion. Just what had crawled up his ass and died? I was trying to be positive about this whole mission thing and Ichigo was really being a buzz kill. He was always being a Negative Nancy. No one liked a Negative Nancy.

"What's your problem, Kurosaki?"

"You're my problem, Yuudai." Pfft, pleaseee. It was the stick up his ass.

"What did I ever do to you?" I was honestly being a curious person, but you know what they say "Curiosity killed the cat".

"It's nothing you've done to me personally. You just don't know what you're doing. You're acting like a child. This isn't "awesome" or "cool". We aren't going on an "adventure". We're going to the Soul Society. A dangerous place. And with your attitude you're going to get yourself killed." Was that a hint of concern I detected?

"Ne, Ichigo. Don't worry about me! As my motto goes, "Obstacles make our lives just a series of steps to climb leading to something greater."."

Ichigo gave me a funny look and sighed, "Just while we're there try and take things seriously."

"Sure thing Ichigo."

I really had been hoping Ichigo would ask me, "What's uh motto?" because I had the perfect comeback, "Nothing, what's uh motto with you?".

* * *

><p>"Hello."<p>

A talking cat. No really, I'm not trying to joke around. I'm serious.

"AH! ARE YOU SALEM? DO YOU KNOW SABRINA?" Alright, so obviously this cat wasn't Salem but I just couldn't help myself.

The cat didn't seem very amused.

"I'm Yoruichi."

"Can I call you Salem?" I asked, poking it.

"No." If I hadn't known any better I would have said a 'tch' mark had appeared on the cats head.

But this was no anime or manga. This was real life. And stuff like that just didn't happen.

"YORUICHIIII!" Poor cat.


End file.
